What if I only receive abuse, there is little else they send?
You need to use Defuser.com more than anyone. If all your getting is abuse only negative energy can come from reading it.
Why do I need a separate email account? Why cant I just defuse the emails from my personal account.
You would remain in the position of being the first point of contact and that would defeat the purpose of defusing the email. By using your defuser.com address the sender understands we act as a screen to abusive content. This separate account leaves your personal email unaffected. Your defuser will advise you when you have defused mail and that is the only time you need to visit this inbox.
Will allowing the unacceptable behavior to continue damage their case when this goes to court?
It is unhealthy for all concerned to allow abusive content to continue and taking this action would be considered the responsible thing to do.
How can someone who knows nothing about our disputes know what content to remove?
It is the structure of the email that a defuser deals with not the content. Our program clearly breaks down and explains the structure of abusive content making it easy to identify and remove without loosing any facts that may pertain to the message you need to receive.
What if they not capable of changing their behavior?
Take charge, calm the situation down and you may even see the good in this person again.
What if the sender accuses me of being obstructive by engaging your services?
Making a copy and defusing the content for you to read is not obstructive as all the key information is being received and replied to.
Do you defuse emails in situations other than couples separating?
Most definitely. There are many situations where someone you know may resort to these methods of abuse. If you find yourself at the receiving end of nasty emails we would be happy to help.
What if you have removed content that I want to read?
Removed irrelevant content is replaced with a note in italics describing the nature of the sentences that have been deleted. The full original is left as it was received, the following email is the defused duplicate that will not be distressing to read.
What if the abuse is sent via TXT?
Defuser is now your primary means of communication with this person and anything else is a privilege. You can always enter your defuser.com email address into your phone and email the text to your defuser address. The introduction letter template advises the sender that you are happy to receive text for issues that need a immediate response. If these texts are in any way unpleasant you will no longer receive texts from them (all texts will be forwarded or deleted unread) all communication from then on must be sent to your defuser email account. They will know what is acceptable by the manner in which their emails have been corrected.
This whole separation business is costing us so much, is this another service taking my money?
Defuser offers significant value in the support we offer. There is a direct correlation between how much a separation will cost and how smoothly you get through the process. Cost gets out of hand when emotions cause one or both parties to engage additional professional services that if acting rationally would not be required.
What if they divert all the anger to my lawyer causing them to deal with it?
How long will I need to use the service?
Our experience is that the service is extremely effective. Once the sender realises you are no longer a receptacle for them venting their feelings, they become less aggressive making you less defensive. The sender does not want to loose contact with you and will be embarrassed that a third party is having to discipline their conduct. When you feel normal communication has been re-established you may consider allowing emails from the sender back into your personal account. You will know when the time is right to back away from our defusing service and we are always here for you to come back to.
Whos defuses the emails?
A Defuser is someone who understands what you do not need to read. You may use a trusted friend to defuse your emails, or we can supply your personal defuser and sometimes you may choose to do it yourself with our support.
What if defuser.com just makes the sender more angry?
By using this service you make the sender realise that their behavior is not acceptable and you now have the power to block their abuse. They will have no choice but to calm down and start to communicate responsibly.
What if the content contains threats?
Emails may indicate the threat of physical harm. This is a serious issue that should not be removed in the defused edit and/or a comment will be placed strongly alerting you to this threat. In this case we advise you to review the original content to ensure the full extent of the risk is considered and acted on through the appropriate channels.Recommend to a friend